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.”Of course.It’s just one other thing I said that you disregarded.Why on earth would you be on the meds that keep you healthy and rational? Brilliant.I began to formulate a plan of action, outlining each step for him.First, he needed to get back on his meds.I knew they took about a month to kick in, but that was all the more reason to get started now.Then, he needed to go to the council and see if there was any way of getting the flat back in his name.He could sign it back over to her later on, once they had a binding custody agreement, but as long as she was threatening to take him to court, it was not a smart idea to give her that kind of leverage.He didn’t want to be homeless again, right?“I don’t think it’s possible to reverse.It’s all completed.”“You’ve been off your medication for several months now.When you go to the doctor, get a note from him explaining this.I’ll bet if you show that note to the council, you can get the transfer canceled on the grounds that you weren’t in your right mind.You weren’t taking the meds necessary for you to function and make rational decisions.”“I don’t know if that will work!” He was getting agitated.“She’s going to throw me out and take Kelsey! And her family’s coming! Her mother’s coming!”I wanted to shake him like a bobblehead doll, until his teeth chattered.Focus, Matt.You got us into this by underestimating my input in the first place.Now I’m trying to get us out of it.I promised him I’d see what I could find out about custody law in Scotland.He just needed to try to convince Lori and her family to leave and go back to Peterhead for the time being.He’d been Kelsey’s sole caregiver since she was born.Most likely, Lori couldn’t just take her away from him without a court order, I figured.I encouraged him to sit Lori down and talk to her, and not to take no for an answer.“Don’t cower when she throws things and screams, and don’t give up and let her ignore you.You’re a grown man.You can handle this.”“I’ll try.”If he did end up having to go to court to resolve this, we could work around it.Instead of us going to New York, I could come to the UK instead, if that would make things easier.We could use the book advance money to rent a flat in town, so that he and Lori could be within a couple of blocks of each other and share custody of Kelsey until everything was mediated between them.There was no rush for New York.We could set up house in the UK instead.Or we could even make that permanent, so that he could be close to Kelsey year-round.He insisted vehemently, though, that he still wanted to move to New York with me, even now.He’d talk to her.“You’re right.You’ve been right all this time and I was a stupid fool, and you’ve been the most loving, supportive girlfriend any man could ever have.I don’t deserve you, but I’m going to try so much harder to.” He was crying again in my arms.“Stop it, honey.I love you.It’s all going to be OK.”He took me up the street to a small bed-and-breakfast, the Dunedin Guest House.It was the most affordable place in town; half the price of the Huntly Hotel in the main square.I couldn’t figure out why it should be cheaper to get a larger room, internet access and free breakfast, but I wasn’t complaining.The post office wouldn’t be open for two more days, so Matt paid for the next two nights.He would meet me in the square on Monday morning, I could exchange my currency, and by then he was sure he’d have dealt with Lori and I could come back to the flat with him.He seemed renewed with optimism and relief that I had been so understanding and supportive.I was feeling pretty optimistic myself.He walked me upstairs to the room, and pushed me up against the wall, kissing me deep and hard.It was the first time he’d kissed me since I’d arrived, and I immediately knew it would all be fine.Over and over again he kissed me, and I thought that maybe this would be a perfect time to tell him that I was pregnant.We were both happy again.I sat down on the bed and patted the covers next to me.“Can you stay for a little bit? There’s some stuff I’d like to talk to you about.I have so much to tell you.”“I can’t.I need to get back to the flat.I’ve been away so long already—she’s probably fuming.”My face fell.For fuck’s sake, we just had the conversation about standing up and being a man! He explained that every time he’d tried to leave the flat the day before, even if it was just for an errand, Lori had gone on a screaming rampage, accusing him of visiting me.“Accusing you? What’s there to accuse you of? So what if you were seeing me? I mean, I’d assume that’d be a given.She knows that we’re together…right?”Of course, but he couldn’t really explain it.My presence was setting her off.There’d always been an undertone of her wanting him back, but for a few weeks, he said, she’d started talking about it openly, pushing him to leave me and reconcile with her.“Why wouldn’t you tell me something of that magnitude? You promised you’d tell me if she ever tried to make a move on you!” I was right back to feeling betrayed.“Look, I haven’t given her any hope whatsoever, OK? I’ve told her that it’s never going to happen.”That wasn’t enough, I insisted.She needed to be told, flat out, “I don’t love you—I never have and I never can—and I’m marrying somebody else.Case closed.Now we need to focus on parenting our daughter in a healthy manner.” I couldn’t believe that I needed to spell this out for him, and then I felt guilty for being frustrated with my lover when he was off his medication and falling to pieces in front of my eyes.He sighed.“I suppose you’re right.It probably does need to be said.”He would tell her.He’d wait until her family left that night: He didn’t want to humiliate her in front of them.But he would tell her.I agreed that that was fair.Just like that, back to happy again.My brain couldn’t keep up with the emotional pendulum.I was getting a headache.“But I need to go.It’s going to be hard enough telling her if I get her upset at me today.I love you.I’ll see you on Monday.”Deep kisses, and then he bolted down the hallway.Chapter Twenty-TwoOn Monday, I exchanged my currency at the post office, and Matt met me outside.He was lugging my heavy trunk full of Christmas gifts, which had been delivered over the weekend.I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him.He looked distant.“Homeless Tales is down, I noticed yesterday.It looks like Michael forgot to pay the bill again.”Michael Abehsera hosted Matt’s website on his Media Temple server, in exchange for Matt promoting his social media work.Matt more than fulfilled his end of the bargain, but Michael often forgot to pay the $20 hosting fee, and we had several times known the frustration of a flurry of panicked emails from the HT crew: “Why is the site down?” More often than not, Michael would plead that money was tight that month, and I would end up buying a prepaid debit card from Walmart and logging in to the Media Temple account to pay the $20 myself.“Oh, crap.Can you pay it?”“No, I don’t have a debit card with me.I didn’t know this was going to happen.”“Shit.I don’t have internet access yet [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]