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.I want you in my life, no matter what.I will earn your trust back.I promise.”I can’t listen to anymore.I turn away so he can’t see the tear forming at the corner of my eye.I will not cry.I will not shed another tear for him.I wipe it away before it can fall down my cheek.I walk away from the only man I have ever loved.Once I get back to the empty apartment, I call Amanda.Heather is apparently with Derek otherwise I would turn to her for advice.She has been spending more and more time with him which means I see her less and less.“Hey.Are you going to start yelling again?”“No.Yes.Maybe.I just talked to Vince.”“And, how did it go? Did he explain everything?”“As much as I let him.Why did he do it, Amanda? I mean, I sort of get why but you would think that he would know me better than that.That he would understand letting me go and making me think he didn’t want me would destroy me.I had major trust issues to begin with and he just added to them.”“I tried to talk him out of it.So did Tommy.”“Wait…what? What do you mean you tried to talk him out of it? Out of what? Coming to Michigan?”“Oh shit.Crap.Crap, crap, crap.Me and my big mouth.Don’t get mad, okay?”“Don’t give me a reason to get mad.”“Well, Vince kind of told us what he was going to do before you left for college.Just hear me out because I know I’m going to get an ear full when I’m finished.I told him it was a bad idea but he was so determined.He wanted a better life for you.We all did.He didn’t want to hold you back.You have to understand it from his perspective.He didn’t want to be the biggest regret of your life.He has always loved you, Maggie.He never stopped.He loved you so much, he let you go.”I’m stunned into silence.I don’t even know what to say to her right now.She is supposed to be my best friend.My support system.The person I can count on to be on my side no matter what.“I have to go.”“Maggie, please don’t hang up.At least yell at me so I know we’re okay.”“Not now.I need to…to…to think.” I hang up without waiting for her response.Betrayal feels an awful lot like abandonment.How could she know what was going through his mind and let him do it.She could have warned me so I could have fought harder.Convinced him that he was worth it to me.I would have done anything for him.But now, now all I feel is pain.I try so hard to think things through logically.To consider all the facts in play when Vince made his decision.But I keep coming back to the same conclusion.He did the wrong thing.He wrecked us.He broke my trust and I don’t know if that will ever come back.How am I supposed to move forward with him when all I can think about is our past?Chapter NineteenDreams are a funny thing.Just when you think you can’t take it anymore, they disappear.I haven’t had a single nightmare about the accident since…hmmm…no.That can’t be right.Since Vincent came back into my life over a month ago.I guess I should be grateful but I’m not.He’s like that annoying fly buzzing in your ear.Always around but never getting close enough to hit with the fly swatter.He is everywhere.Anytime I leave the apartment, he mysteriously appears.He even went so far as to move his seat in our business class.He doesn’t sit next to Asher anymore, instead he sits right beside me.He doesn’t even seem bothered by my open affection toward my fake boyfriend.I’ve done everything short of making out with him in the middle of class.But Vince doesn’t seem to notice.He just keeps plugging away, trying to wear down my resolve.I might have to step up my game.It’s becoming rather annoying to have him breathing down my neck all the time.The sad truth is, I like it.I missed him.Now I get to see him almost every day.As much as I don’t want to lose that, we can’t keep pretending everything is fine.Acting as if we are casual acquaintances.Something has got to give.I just don’t know what yet.We just finished our first major exams.Derek is out of town so of course Heather wants to go out this Friday night.I tried to get out of it but she wouldn’t hear of it.She’s practically forcing me to get out of the house and have fun.I guess she is tired of my sulking.I can’t seem to make up my mind about Vince and she hasn’t been any help.Telling me to follow my heart.When did she become so sappy? I need a realist on my side.I’m brought back to the present when I hear Asher inviting Vincent out with us.What is he thinking?“I don’t think that’s a good idea, honey.” Yes, we have resorted to pet names.All a part of my ploy to convince my ex-boyfriend that my current boyfriend is really my boyfriend.It gets confusing.“Why not? Heather will be there.Plus I invited a couple of guys from the skate park.The more the merrier, right.”“Well it sounds like fun to me.What time should I meet you guys?”“We can just meet you at the bar around 9 Friday night.I can text you the address.” Asher pulls his phone out of his jacket pocket typing in a rush before class starts.I roll my eyes deciding its best not to argue.Let him come.What do I care anyway.Later that night, I make up my mind to forgive my best friend.I’ve been dodging her calls for the past two weeks.I think I’ve tortured her enough.“Oh my gosh! Are you actually speaking to me now?”“Maybe.It depends on what you say next.”“I’m sorry, Maggie.I never meant to hurt you and you’re right.I should have told you what was going on.That would have been the fair thing to do.”“I forgive you.Now will you please stop blowing up my phone with text messages and voicemails?”“Absolutely.So…where do things stand with Vince?”“Nowhere.I don’t know.He always seems to be around.I don’t want to talk about him.How are things back home?”“Good.Classes are going well.Tommy and I have never been better.I also heard this interesting rumor that someone has a boyfriend.You want to tell me what that’s all about?”“Not really.”“Spill woman.”“Fine.It’s complicated.Of course I’m not really with Asher.He was at my apartment when Vincent showed up so I went with it.”“I see.And what are you hoping to accomplish by deceiving him? Because it’s driving him insane.”“Really?” Why oh why does that make me happy.“Totally.He calls Tommy every time he sees the two of you together.I kind of feel bad for Vince.I didn’t think you had it in you to be so cruel.”“It’s not cruel, Amanda.How could he think that I wouldn’t have moved on after all this time?”“Because you haven’t.”“But he doesn’t know that [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]