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.” It seemed ironically appropriate to have Bruce play the part, since goddess spiritually had become an indelible part of my life as a direct result of my angst during the Moonlighting years.I knew that some of my views met with glazed--over eyes and could only imagine what hits I took behind my back--I tended to say “Goddess bless” when anybody sneezed and was probably a little mischievous in directing such a blessing to the most recalcitrant souls.Some people on the show resented any suggestion that we explore these themes, protesting what they considered a soapbox.If the audience laughs, it’s not a soapbox.In the second-season opener, my character is about to become a grandmother, and drags a reluctant Maryann into the Mojave to meditate.Cybill: “The desert is a power place.”Maryann: “Spago is a power place.”Cybill: “People have been having profound experiences in the desert for thousands of years.”Maryann: “Name three.”Cybill: “Jesus, Moses and Bugsy Siegel.”Cybill is chanting to Mother Earth; Maryann is distracted and bored.Maryann: “You’re the one who’s all screwed up with this self indulgent, New Age yuppie crap--meditating, fasting, raising the cone of silence.”Cybill: “It’s a cone of power.”Maryann: “It’s a cone of crap.”If I had wanted a soapbox, that line would have been cut.It was a way to poke fun at my own beliefs, and I thought it would be even more fun to have “David Addison” show up in the desert.But Bruce Willis’ agent said he didn’t have time.Read whatever you want into the fact that he did cameos on Ally McBeal and Mad About You (the latter was head-to-head with my show on Sunday nights for a while).Second season, second episode: I was thrilled that Tony Bennett was signed as a guest star.I said to Chuck, “Hey, why don’t Tony and I sing a duet?”“We can’t change the script,” he said.“Tony has already approved it.”That was how I learned that a guest star had read the script before the star and executive producer, namely me.“How did that happen?” I asked Chuckn the s hemmed and hawed, deflecting blame, and said, “If you want him to sing, you’ll have to ask him yourself.” When Tony Bennett arrived to film his spot and came to my dressing room, he graciously agreed to sing two diets with me, “I Left My Heart in San Francisco” as well as “Nice Work If You Can Get It,” the song that I performed over the opening credits every week.Afterward I gave Chuck an ultimatum: “Don’t ever send out a script that I haven’t approved to a guest star.” He rolled his eyes.He had done something inappropriate, and I don’t think he ever forgave me for it.Perhaps my worst infraction was once asking to swap lines with Christine.In the opening scene of the “Zing!” episode, Cybill and Maryann are relaxing in chaise lounges under a ludicrous camouflage of hats, protective clothes, and sunglasses.Cybill was to say, “I miss the ozone layer,” and Maryann was to respond, “What a price to pay for decent hair spray.” Chuck interpreted my request as an attempt to steal Christine’s joke.Both of us got big laughs, but it was considered the final straw of my evil intent, and Chuck and I would never be the same.Whenever I argued with Chuck about something that didn’t ring true for me, he inferred a hidden agenda.In the third episode of the season, called “Since I Lost My Baby,” Cybill goes shopping with her infant grandson, and Maryann absentmindedly leaves with the wrong baby, a girl.She discovers the mistake in the process of changing the baby’s diaper and says, “My God, that is the worst circumcision I’ve ever seen.” I hated that line.Referring to the female anatomy as if it is inherently defective because something has been cut off smacks of the most archaic Freudian penis envy.The joke was demeaning and gratuitously disrespectful to all women.I knew that the line would get a big laugh, but again, audiences sometimes laugh for the wrong reason [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]