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.A moment when no matter how social climbing has improved your life, no matter how many Big Fish, Whales, Swans, Turtles, friends with benefits you have on speed dial, you sense something important is missing in your life.What sort of something? No, it’s not a Ferrari or a set of identical twins who give backrubs and own a schloss in Gstaad.What you’re lacking is a partner, a soul mate to climb with.For you this moment may come as an epiphany—a sudden realization that the fact you will never be able to love another person as much as yourself does not mean you are shallow, it means you are finally ready to have a mature relationship.Others come to this crossroads because they hear the tick-tock of their biological clock.The sight of nannies pushing in-vitro twins who belong to a couple with matching Porsches often inspires climbers to wish they had a life partner they could have children with and share the joy of teaching the little ones how to climb.Some come to this Rubicon because their climb has leveled off.Having hit a plateau or, worse, having found themselves slipping backward, they muster up the humility to cling to someone else who is backsliding.Only as a couple pooling their address books and invites can they make it to the next level of the game.EMPOWERING THOUGHT #25True love for the Mountaineer comes when you meet someone you actually like, with whom you have hot sex as often as you eat, and who has so much more of everything than you do that you feel as if you’ve slept your way to the top, even if you didn’t sleep your way to the top.Which, if you think about it, is how love should always feel.Admittedly, it’s hard to know whether you are thinking about getting serious because all of your friends with benefits have gotten married or stopped having casual sex with you, or because it actually is time for you to get serious about getting serious.To find out if you are ready to give up climbing solo, answer the following questions:1.Would you be more popular with the people you want to be popular with if you didn’t sleep around? Yes / No2.Is there an extra man or woman in your social set who is smarter, more accomplished, more attractive than you are who is suddenly scooping up all the invites you used to get? Yes / No3.Would you have more money for social climbing if you had someone to split household expenses with and provide you with a marital deduction for your income tax? Yes / No4.Is there a club you’d like to join but can’t, because it doesn’t accept unmarried women or men, or you lack the social credentials to get in on your own? Yes / No5.Have you recently lost your job, and/or are you about to be indicted for a felony? Yes / No6.Do you dream of being married to someone who owns a yacht and want to climb onboard while you still look good in a bathing suit? Yes / No7.Will you inherit more money if you get married and/or have children? Yes / No8.Do you know a Big Fish or Whale who’s recently been ditched you think might be so heartbroken that he or she would say yes to marrying someone like yourself? Yes / No9.Are you losing your hair or having trouble maintaining your youthful figure, or do you have a worsening medical condition that requires treatment not covered by your insurance carrier? Yes / NoIf you have answered yes to any of the above, then it’s time to get serious.To begin with, if you’re serious about getting serious, you must put your hand on The Social Climber’s Bible and swear from this moment on you will give up Posse Dating.Yes, it will be hard to get used to actually calling someone up on a phone and asking that person out, but trust us: This modus operandi is so quaint, whoever you ask out will mistake your directness for self-confidence rather than desperation.Equally important: no more bottom-feeding, even when you’re lonely.From this moment on, you must also swear you will only date Keepers.If you have already dated your way up the food chain and are involved with a Big Fish who laughed the last time you brought up the subject of marriage, or is already married but claims he/she can’t divorce because of the negative psychological effect on their children or because their spouse has threatened to commit suicide, do not believe them.These are lame excuses.Know that if they really valued you or your sexual favors they would be worried about you threatening to kill yourself.Regardless, it’s time to move on.but on your terms, not theirs.To put yourself in the best position to find a Keeper, you will have to get rid of the Big Fish in a way that generates sympathy for you among your Big Fish’s friends, so you can keep fishing in his/her pond—i.e., you have to make it seem that Mr.or Ms.Big Fish has dumped you rather than vice versa.How do you do that? Dose him/her with a hit of X, invite over your trampiest friend, and leave the house.Come back two hours later and walk in on them en flagrante.Get upset, but make it clear that you forgive both of them and still want to be friends, i.e., still go to their parties, sleep with their friends, but not sleep with them because you can’t bear to have your heart broken again.Fortunately, we live in a time in which interracial and interfaith unions are accepted [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]